OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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