It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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