im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
