Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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