You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
