I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
