god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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