The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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