I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
