ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
