do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
