suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
