At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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