Already got asked if we're dating
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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