Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
