she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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