Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
