Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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