we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
