So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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