I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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