shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
