How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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