is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
