it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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