My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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