My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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