You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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