I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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