DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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