and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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