Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize