If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize