I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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