my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
