There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
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do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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