Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
