Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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