You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
