u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Let's paint friendship bongs
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
