doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
