i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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