i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
