I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
