i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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