I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
