I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
