And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize