Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I woke up under a house in Key West
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