I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
