Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
