she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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