You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you will always have a special place in my vag
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
