I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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