Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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