I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
