She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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