He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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