i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
