You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
